Five Questions – to help your marriage and Love Your Spouse the Same Way Christ Loves You

Ephesians 5:25-27 – “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”

Romans 5:8 says, “But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” How do we prove our love for our spouse? Working on the following six questions will help you to love your spouse in the same way that Christ loves you. His love was a sacrificial love, a giving up of self for His bride, the Church. When we look at our spouse and find the quality in our spouse that stands out, it gets us off of the negative faults and onto the god like qualities. When we see the god like qualities we see God working in our marriage. When we start to focus on God and how He has brought you through the difficult times in your marriage it strengthens the relationship. By focusing on what you need to change in yourself in order to make your relationship better is a sign of repentance and love for your spouse. It gets you off of seeing what your spouse needs to change and onto making the change in yourself to show your love. Love is dying to self, it is self giving in order to help the other live the abundant life. The advice you then can give will be a reflection of how you love your spouse. They will know you by the fruit you bear and the fruit you bear can be found in Galatians 5:22-23, “..the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…….”

Ephesians 5:25-27 – “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”

How many years have you been married? _________Fill in spouses’ name.

A. Begin with the following prayer.
Help me Lord to write out the thoughts and reflections of my heart. You know me better than I know myself. My desire is to have a relationship with ______ as you have with me. Help me to write what is in my heart so I can love ______ more. Amen

B. By yourself meditate and reflect and write your answers to the questions

  1. What is one positive quality in your spouse that stands out?
  2. What role does God play in your marriage?
  3. How has God brought you through the difficult times in your marriage?
  4. What would you like to change in yourself to make your marriage even better?
  5. What advice would you give to those who are planning to get married?

C. Pray the following prayer before sharing with your spouse.
Dear Lord, Please help me to be open to ________ sharing the reflections and thoughts of his/her heart. Help me to listen to what ­­­­_________ has to say. Quiet my mind so I am not thinking of what I want to say or have written until I have heard _______’s heart. Amen

D. Share your answers with your spouse.

E. Say the closing prayer together.
Thank you Jesus, for being here with us and drawing us closer to you and each other. We commit our lives to you and loving each other the way you love us. Thank you for giving us your Holy Spirit who teaches and leads us in the way of love. Help us to look at each others needs before our own and each day make sacrifices for one another for it is in dying that we are brought to eternal life. Amen

F. Commit to work on question four to improve your marriage.

Please share with us what affect this has on your marriage and how many years you have been married.
  

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